The List
by stephaniew
Summary: Brennan's looking for something in Sweets office. One shot with Sweets and Brennan. Character death even though I hate those! Please read and review!


**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything related to Bones. Too bad for me.

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Sweets pushed open the door to his office and stepped inside. He'd just come from a long staff meeting and he was looking forward to gathering up this things and going home to dinner with Daisy. What he saw, however, when the sounds coming from his desk finally filtered through, stopped him in his tracks.

"Dr. Brennan?" he said, moving towards the desk. "Dr. Brennan?" he repeated, louder this time. She didn't respond, just continued pulling files and papers out of his desk drawers and filing cabinets. She'd glance at each and then toss it to the floor. He wasn't sure how long she'd been there, but she was surrounded by a flurry of white papers.

He stopped at the edge of the desk and called to her again, this time touching her arm gently. "Dr. Brennan? What are you doing?" She finally turned her face to him and he sucked in a breath at what he saw. Her hair was pulled back in a careless knot on the back of her head, pieces falling out around her face. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and her skin was quite pale. He gentled his voice and repeated his question. "What are you doing?"

Brennan turned back to the stack of files she was "sorting through" and replied in soft, broken tones, "I'm looking for the list, Sweets. I know it must be here somewhere." He stared at her a moment, puzzled. "The list? What list?" She ignored him and continued pulling out files until he reached for her hands, taking them in his own. She took a trembling breath and faced him, pulling her hands away as she did. "Leave me alone," she breathed, tears pooling in her eyes. "I have to find the list."

"Dr. Brennan, I don't know what list you're...." he stopped suddenly as the truth hit him like a punch to the gut. He actually took a step away from her, the power of the realization was so great. "Oh, God, Dr. Brennan....," he whispered. "There's no list this time. I'm so, so very sorry, but there's no list."

Her searching became more frenzied and she began to simply throw the letters and papers about the office. She was crying openly now, tears streaming down her white face, sobs ripping from her chest. "There has to be a list!" she screamed, shoving another stack of papers onto the floor. "There has to be! He promised me! He promised me!" She turned her fury and grief on Sweets, pushing him as he tried to stop her, to calm her. "This is all your fault! There is a list and I'm going to find it and you're going to tell me where he is...." she wailed as she beat her fists against his chest.

Sweets stood his ground in front of her, letting her scream and pummel him. His own grief and sense of loss paled in comparison to what he could see in the woman in front of him. He'd always sensed there was something out there that would break through all those walls Temperance Brennan had constructed so carefully. And he'd known that when those walls were finally breached, the feelings unleashed would overwhelm her.

After a few minutes, her energy spent, her grief consuming, she finally stopped her assault. As she started to pull away, her knees gave out. Sweets reached her just in time to catch her in his arms and they sank to the floor together. She didn't resist as he cradled her in his arms, rocking her gently, whispering meaningless words of comfort. He felt her tears soaking his shirt as she sobbed quietly in his arms, his own tears dripping silently into her hair.

As her sobs slowed, he spoke at last, still rocking her slowly. "It's ok," he murmured, "Just let it go, let it all go. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain." He choked on the next words, "And you'll never know how much I wish there was a list....God help me, I wish there was."

Sweets wasn't sure how long they sat there together on the floor. His arms never left her and she clung to him like a child. Their tears slowed and finally stopped, but neither seemed willing to face getting up and moving on. She broke the silence first. "I miss him so much. I don't know how to keep going, to move forward." Her breathing hitched again, but there were no more tears to cry for now. "I...I...," she swallowed hard and continued, "I loved him, Sweets. I didn't think I could, but somehow he was different. I loved him and I never told him." She shuddered and buried her face in his chest. "I never told him...." she whispered brokenly.

Sweets hugged her more tightly for a moment and then released her. He waited until she looked up at him, then held her gaze. "He knew, Dr. Brennan. You may not have said it out loud, but your eyes and your voice and your actions said it every day. He knew. You have to believe in that. You believed in him and you have to believe he knew your heart." Her lips trembled, but managed to form a small smile as she sat up and pushed her disheveled hair off her face. Her gaze was unfocused for a moment as she remembered _him_ telling her the very same thing.

She stood at last and waited while Sweets pulled himself up as well. She smiled more genuinely this time and said, "Yes, he knew. He was that guy, and he knew."

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**A/N**: I really hate character death stories, esp. Booth related, but this popped into my head last night on my drive home and I just had to write it out. Partial credit for this to Rochelle Templer….I was thinking of a Sweets based prompt for her when this reared its head! Please review and let me know what you think!


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